May 6, 2012
Later, Tumblr

Don’t think I am going to be posting on tumblr anymore…. hello cyj10.wordpress.com

Although I will still use tumblr regularly to read and keep up on things :D

3:37pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZHnXDxK-DEo4
April 24, 2012
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Been lovin’ this song, so made a cover of it!

The mystery of the cross I cannot comprehend
The agonies of Calvary
You the perfect Holy One, crushed Your Son
Who drank the bitter cup reserved for me 

Your blood has washed away my sin
Jesus, thank You
The Father’s wrath completely satisfied
Jesus, thank You
Once Your enemy, now seated at Your table
Jesus, thank You

By Your perfect sacrifice I’ve been brought near
Your enemy You’ve made Your friend
Pouring out the riches of Your glorious grace
Your mercy and Your kindness know no end 

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April 17, 2012
How do you eat?

I know it might not be exactly true, but over the years, guys, I’ve realized this. Wanna know a man’s godliness? Take a look at the way he eats.

Does he stress eat? Does he eat like an animal? Here’s a good one. Is he willing to DEFER to others, especially women when there isn’t enough food? Does he have self-control? Does he know how to share? Does he know how to wait?

All these things are measures of self-control, the final fruit of the spirit. I know this because I have been convicted of some of these things over the years!!!

8:04pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZHnXDxJrHguK
April 10, 2012
Neurosurgery

I attended a lecture today that included Henry Brem and Ben Carson—both of whom have directly and indirectly impacted my life. I remember Henry Brem from when I worked in a neurosurgery lab. He was that professor that was never around. You’d see his names on all the rat cages and the equipment, the chairs, but you never saw him. He was like the Wizard of Oz. Ben Carson was a hero of mine up until about two years ago. I read his book, Gifted Hands, as an eighth grader and he immediately became my hero and Johns Hopkins my dream school. 

I somehow ended up sitting at a seat immediately behind both of them. I could have kicked them in the head. It was surreal. I daresay I had the same goosebumps the first time I saw Kobe Bryant live in person. Man. We’re talking about two of the best neurosurgeons in America. 

Brem and Carson live lives I wanted entering Hopkins. I wanted an MD next to my name. I wanted the immediate respect they commanded, the constant adoration of their patients, the fanfare. I wanted fame. I wanted people to look up to me the instant I told them I was a doctor of that stature. I guess ultimately I wanted to be a celebrity. Not the trashy kind. I’d be a doctor celebrity. 

I wanted their lives. And the reception they received today was exactly what I wanted.

Now I know nothing about their personal lives, nothing about their spiritual lives. Although I do know Carson is a professing Christian. Whether or not he is a true doer of the law (Romans 2:13), choosing righteousness over unrighteousness, I do not know. Brem, I have no idea. 

But the point is, I could not get Psalm 1 out of my mind the entire 2 hour lecture because of the way it has guided me and shaped my thinking the past 5 years.

 ”Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.” -Psalm 1:1-3, 6

No doubt these men struggle with the same things I do though. Underneath it all, they most likely struggle with how to be right with a holy God. That is spiritual reality that we need to all be aware of. They lead careers that are starkly different from the trajectory I am on. I will never command that intellectual respect as a physician, but we still struggle with that same fundamental spiritual question. How do I become right with my maker?

As remnants of old lusts came flashing to my mind, I rested in God’s plan for my life. I rested in knowing that that which I have submitted to Him is perfect and that He still has a great great plan for me. And that His will is more often described in the Bible as a present state, rather than a future state. His will is a present place of peace, joy, and vitality of life that I can enjoy while communing with His sweet presence in my heart and soul. How good is this God who has taken me so far in the past several years and is still moving me forward step by step, perfectly lighting my path in His timing. God, You are so good.

(You’re also good for giving these men their gifts!)

7:29pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZHnXDxJRv_lg
(Notes: 1)
  
April 6, 2012
That long-winded person

Yeah, you all know who I’m talking about. That person in prayer meetings who won’t stop praying. We’re talking 10 minutes status where everyone’s just like ‘stop! Let me leave!’ Or that guy who takes 2 frustrating minutes to pray before we eat and you just wanna quit. Maybe you’re that person.

Well here are 3 thoughts for the long-winded prayer-er and 3 thoughts for the frustrated. 

1. Ecclesiastes 3:7b, a time to be silent and a time to speak. Does your praying have this attitude in its submission to the Scriptures? Does your long, extended prayer reveal a heart that is willing to be silent at times before Christ, contemplating His riches? Is there any hint of self-righteousness? 

2. Matthew 6:7-8 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
How truly are you relying on the merits of Christ for your prayer? And how trusting are you of God’s promises, that He will hear and answer your prayer? Do you truly believe that He knows everything on your heart already?

3. Prayer is ultimately an alignment of your will to God’s will. It is a bringing forth of your petitions, and submitting to God that He would act justly and correctly. We can have much to learn from the prayerful attitude of Jesus’s mother, who at the wedding in Cana, goes before the Lord and simply says, ‘They have no more wine’ (John 2:3). Do you have this attitude as you pray? Or are you trying to tell God what to do? How does your prayer reflect the trustworthiness of God’s hands especially if there are weaker believers in the group? 

And now to you, frustrated one.

1. Psalm 46:10 ‘Be still.’ How still are you being really? We live in an age of input and attention disorders. Are you being selfish by not allowing another brother or sister to fellowship with the Lord for your benefit and edification? Perhaps you need to learn to sit still. It tends to be the ones who can’t sit still that have the worse time with regular devotions. Perhaps you can use these times as training because devotions are the foundation of our walks with God. How sweet are your devotional times? Can a week go by without you having them and not even matter?

2. Do you know how badly important prayer is? 1 Timothy 2:8 I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing. Everyone needs to pray! Why are you so impatient then? Do you know how many bankrupt souls there are in the world that need your prayer?

3. How aware are you of spiritual realities? The physical world is not all there is. Even unbelievers can realize this if they consider their guilty consciences. When you pray, you are as far in that spiritual realm as you will possibly be while on Earth. This other world, though the world mocks it, is our holiest longing. The man who dislikes prayer is surely walking a dangerous road out of the spiritual realm where the Kingdom of Heaven is found.  

1:49pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZHnXDxJBo8O9
March 17, 2012
Conversations

The central act of Christianity is… conversation. It’s the way we build each other up. It’s the way we encourage and rebuke. It’s the way we evangelize. This particular conversation changed my life—

I was walking around campus trying to reach out to people one time my sophomore fall, likely part of some fall event we were having. 

me: hey! are you interested in coming out to service? (Removed the name of my church for anonymity. Though I may use it as an example, my scope is to extend and challenge any Christian who may read this). We’re an on campus Christian group, meet in one of the biology buildings in the afternoon. You should just check it out when you have time and you’ll be able to learn more there. 

guy: oh… it’s ok I’m not Christian

me: that’s fine haha just come out, or if not a service, come to my bible study on Tues nights

guy:  I don’t believe in Christianity though

me: totally fine!

guy: it seems like all the religious groups on campus don’t really care what their members believe 

Certainly the conversation can be looked at in different ways. These are the essential pieces of it that I remember but I remember this most—it changed the way I looked and viewed my life and theology. 

Because it matters what we believe. It matters how sanctification works and how repentance unto salvation works. It matters whether or not Jesus is coming back. Whether you are a young Christian or old, it matters. It matters whether or not God created the world in a literal week or not. The whole of the Bible’s truth hinges upon it. 

Even the way I look at my co-workers today are a result of this conversation. I invite them out to Church and I am warm. But I am doing a disservice if I am not also open about the truths I believe in and the condemnation they are walking towards without a salvation evidenced by repentance and effected by faith in the fullness of Christ’s sacrifice.

11:02pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZHnXDxI9lZC9
March 11, 2012
Jealousy

While I generally discourage the style of blogging that turns into a daily ranting reminiscent of Xanga, I think it is important that I do look to inject a bit of my own heart and life from time to time into what I write especially because so much of what I write deals with man, man’s heart, and his relationship with God. 

If you did not know this about me, I am actually a very jealous person. Very very jealous in fact. And it’s something I work on daily. I will say that my jealousy becomes most evident in friendships and relationships, applying to both genders. At its worst,  my jealousy results in an ungodly clingy-ness. At another extreme, my jealousy results in a fierce overprotective-ness of those close to me, sometimes to the point of disillusion. There have been cases in the past for both guys and girls when I have become jealous of their new relationship because it seemingly results in a neglect of our friendship. There have also been cases where I am so loyal to a person that when their reputation is tainted even in the slightest, I will take offense and defend them.

As the Lord changes my jealousy to become one that is more like His, I am reminded that this quality is what is known as an *communicable* quality of God, meaning a quality that He shares with us creatures, a quality he can *communicate* to us. 

We have an extremely jealous God, whose jealousy is just. Exodus 20:5 says that He is a God who is jealous, and despises idol worship. We are forbidden to bow down to ANY idols!

I am reminded more tonight that just as much as I may want a person, or a friendship back, God wants a relationship with me a billion freaking times more. He sits in the pages of my Bible, begging for me to fellowship with Him each day. What a great God. 

1:50am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZHnXDxHouGG-
March 10, 2012
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

My take on Hebrews 7, King Melchizedek.

10:10am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZHnXDxHl_CZj
(Notes: 1)
  
January 30, 2012
The Mental Life

RC Sproul’s radio program is titled Renewing Your Mind. I could not agree more. 

This has always been my model of ministry—to help those around me become transformed in their thinking by showing them Scripture and helping to shed light on the pages of the Bible. This is because Scripture is alive. It can judge the thoughts of man and penetrate to the soul (Heb 4:12). 

Yet I so often struggle with this. I struggle with controlling what enters my mind. I too often allow my mind to wander and entertain its own thoughts. I let it roam to places and corners it should not be wandering to. This includes relationships when I wonder what could have been different. This includes academics when I wonder where I would be had I made different decisions. But I know this—everything that happens to me is a result of my precious Savior’s great great love for me.

And this is why my daily devotions in the Word of God are key to my peace in life. It is only by slowly reading HIS word am I able to chew on them, and let them marinate my mind and CHANGE my thoughts.

Make a covenant today to transform your mind and dwell ONLY on what is good. Resolve to start your days better, instantly focusing on the Savior the second you open your eyes. Only then will you be able know what is the will of God (Romans 12:1). 

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(Notes: 1)
  
December 22, 2011
Esther 5:9-13

Starting in October I resolved to review and refresh my memory on Old Testament history. It has been a quite profitable study and I’ve made my way to near completion of the historical narratives and am now in Esther.

Esther takes place sometime between the first two returns to Jerusalem (total of three returns after the Babylonian deportation). It is a book that describes how God always preserves His people and keeps His promises, both the Abrahamic covenant as well as the Davidic covenant.

Well, Esther is a young Jew raised by her older cousin Mordecai. We know that Mordecai is a godly man from his allusion to the Lord’s providence in 4:14. It should be noted that a significant interpretive challenge in Esther (as well as a challenge to its canonicity) is that it nowhere mentions God by name. Yet, His invisible hand is always moving events, yes? Spurgeon once said that when we don’t see God’s hand, we can trust His heart. 

Well some of the Jews at the time that didn’t go back were still stuck in the Persian kingdom. And in this narrative, there’s someone named Haman, who apparently had a fair amount of authority after being promoted (3:1-2). All the king’s servants bowed down to him. But one person didn’t—Mordecai! (3:3)

In the titular passage, Haman has just attended a banquet put on by Esther to which Haman and the King of Persia were invited. He is described to be “glad and pleased of heart” after it (5:9). Who wouldn’t be after a big banquet right?! =P. But just then he sees someone. You know, that person that always gets on your nerves—maybe it’s a roommate, maybe it’s a professor, or fellow classmate. That one person that always brings out your bad side. Makes you “filled with anger” (v. 9). Well, shortly after he finishes that meal, he sees Mordecai! And get this—isn’t this so like us? Haman’s angry because he believes he’s “above” Mordecai and he gets ticked off Mordecai didn’t “stand up or tremble before him” (v.9). Man, prideful sinners never change. That’s why the Bible will always be relevant! And isn’t this sort of pride in our rankings and titles so counter-gospel? Remember it was Christ thousands of years later who came and did not consider his equality with God something to be grasped (Philippians 2:6). 

Back to the story. So what does Haman do? Well, he summons all the goodness inside (sarcasm) and “control[s] himself” (v. 10). He runs back to his friends and wife and “recount[s] to them the glory of his riches, and the number of his sons…” (v. 11). What a sucker. He goes to make himself feel better by showing off to his friends. It’s darn easy to be comfortable around and love the people who are impressed by you isn’t it? I remember PD telling us at MENistry night to be challenged sometimes by those who aren’t impressed by us. It is humbling and will grow your character in ways it normally won’t. 

Don’t want this exposition to drag on too long, so I’ll jump to the end with an application in verse 13. Listen to this—Right after he lists all his wealth, Haman says that EVERYTHING he has “does NOT satisfy” whenever he sees Mordecai.

Understand this, brothers and sisters, that superficial joy is easily stolen. The sad part is that even joy from the Lord, if we do not guard it well, can be stolen. Hope and find your joy each day in the Lord and when you find it, fight for it and work to keep yourself constrained by the love of God… because joy is a choice and a lifestyle. 

12:44am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZHnXDxDcVNTn
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